Top Six Memorial Technology Tools to Remember a Loved One
Like me and many other families who have lost a loved one, I was unaware of many of the new, best, and most innovative memorial technology options available for helping families plan a funeral, burial, cremation, or even serve as an added value to their end of life planning.
Each of these wonderful new memorial technology tools allow families to remember their loved ones.
They also provide a much better opportunity for individuals and families to heal from the inevitable grief and loss associated from losing a loved one.
You can find more information about each of these six new memorial technology options by visiting the following extremely educational and FREE family-focused online resource center:
Most of us have heard the old adage; “the two certainties in life are death and taxes“. As a result of this statement, National Healthcare Decisions Day comes every year on April 16th, the day after taxes. The goal is to attempt to bring these two matters together.
Jane Markley tells her clients; “Most of us dutifully complete our taxes every year. So why not also make time to review your end of life plans and advance directives as well?” Truth be told, completing your plans for death requires much less time and effort than completing your taxes. Furthermore, completing your death matters only needs to be done once, whereas taxes must be completed each and every year.
It’s NEVER Too Soon
For those of you who haven’t had “the end of life conversation”, and/or documented your healthcare wishes and other final plans and preferences, please remember this all-important statement: It’s only too soon…until it is too late.”
When it comes to death and taxes, it is very easy to find reasons to procrastinate and postpone these matters. However, please let us help you preplan and “give the gift of love” to your family and friends.
Don’t wait for the crisis. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Don’t leave your loves ones in a difficult situation. Don’t wait until it’s to late to learn how to prepay funeral expenses. Let us help you make this difficult situation a little easier. Let us help you have “the conversation” now, plan and prepare in advance today!
Your First Step is EASY
A great way to start is to click here and access our free Family Record Guide. You won’t regret it, your loved ones will thank you, and you will leave a legacy of love!
Jennifer Brokaw, MD is an Emergency Department physician, and the daughter of commentator Tom Brokaw. She is another excellent specialist who emphasizes the importance and value of advance care planning.
Although most people don’t like to talk about death and dying, the harsh reality is death is something we cannot avoid, postpone, or predict. In fact, Dr. Brokaw believes that in order to live your best life, you need to think and talk about death.
MUST-SEE Video – How to Talk to Your Doctor About Death
In this extremely informative and educational video, Dr. Jennifer Brokaw opens up about the uncomfortable but vital conversations we should all have with our doctors, our families, and ourselves – well before we near our end of life.
As acceptance of end-of-life planning grows in the U.S., new concerns are emerging about how well patients and their doctors understand the forms they are signing about the care they want in their final days.
In September, the Institute of Medicine’s “Dying in America” report called for a national effort to improve medical and social services for end-of-life care, both to improve quality of life and to help reduce the outsize costs of unwanted care at the end of life.
Some health plans are reimbursing doctors who help with advance care planning, and the federal government is weighing doing the same for doctors who talk to Medicare patients about options. A growing number of states are starting programs known as Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment, or Polst, a form offered to patients who might die within a year so they can document their wishes in a medical record, signed by the doctor.
As I am preparing this newsletter, I am awaiting a call from a longtime colleague with the knowledge that it will be the last time we have a chance to talk. Recently diagnosed with multiple brain tumors that are inoperable she has chosen to let her life run its course and to enjoy what quality time she can for as long as the tumors allow. Tragic, sad, emotional; you bet, but not a failure, as far as we can tell, on anyone’s part. Remember I said before, death is not an option. Fortunately, her healthcare providers understand this type of terminally ill planning.
In this day and age so many healthcare providers feel like they have failed if they are unable to cure their patients. They frequently continue to offer alternative treatments when they know that the chances of doing anything truly helpful are miniscule. They talk about end of life planning matters extending life, but not about the quality of that life. They are also confronted by patients and/or loved ones who want “everything” done. They offer treatments that they themselves would not take were they in the same condition. The healthcare professionals’ role in life has always been to make people better, to cure them, and when they can’t they feel inadequate or like they have failed so they keep trying even as hope wanes. It is a reasonable response considering their training focuses on the cure. But, death is just a part of life and it is sometimes best to accept.
As you might guess, the call came before I had finished this. I was floored. In fact my friend was ecstatic when I spoke with her. Hard to believe isn’t it? She kept telling me how wonderful it is to have time to talk with people who love her and who share with her what a difference she has made in their lives. She said that this truly has been the best experience of her life and she is so pleased that her life will be ending this way because she never really thought that she had made a difference in anyone’s life.
She’s living fully in the moment. She is making plans for the “celebration” of her end of life, when she is gone and where to scatter her ashes. And given the advent of the Internet and advanced technology tools today, there are many new memorial technology options for cremations. She has made peace with what is happening to her and is embracing the experience better than anyone I have ever met. Surely there are down times but to everyone with whom I have spoken who has spoken with her they all are getting the same vibe.
Death for her is not a failure but truly is an experience she is cherishing. Talk about acceptance! And yes, she has her advance directives in order.
The bigger question is when will you: Have ‘The Conversation’AndGive ‘The Gift’
The final expense cost of regular adult funeral including basic items, can be significant. To give you a quick overview of the funeral costs, we’ve developed a quick chart. Keep in mind, these basic items do not include cemetery costs, cemetery monuments, or grave marker costs – nor any other miscellaneous charges such as for funeral flowers or obituaries.
$1,595 Non-declinable basic services fee
$ 233 Removal/transfer of remains to funeral home
$ 550 Embalming
$ 203 Other preparation of the body
$ 406 Use of facilities/staff for viewing
$ 463 Use of facilities/staff for funeral ceremony
After losing a close loved one back in 2008, I am constantly trying to find ways I can help both families and Funeral Directors find new ways to make the funeral planning process easier. After working closely and researching extensively, I have learned a lot about how to plan a funeral and end of life planning industries.
However, since I am not a licensed Funeral Director, I have also focused on learning how challenging and meaningful of a role a Funeral Directors can play in a families life, and therefore, I have gained a tremendous amount of well-deserved respect and appreciation for a Funeral Director’s selfless contribution to this valued public service.
So given the importance and sensitivity of this matter, I am not only constantly trying to learn more each day, but also searching for any possible new and innovative ways to help add value to this industry.
When I look back on my personal experience, below are some of the key things I truly believe would have helped my family as we worked through the many funeral planning challenges:
1. I believe it would be helpful if the Funeral Director could give a brief history about their Funeral Home, Cemetery, as well as their personal background and experience.
This would help families learn more about choosing a funeral home or cemetery, funeral director, and feel more comfortable about the qualifications, experience, and credibility of who they are dealing with.
2. I think it could be helpful if a Funeral Directors would ask if anyone involved has any history or experience with planning a funeral.
This would help the Funeral Director and the family, since this lets the Funeral Director know if they need to begin slowly, starting with the basics, or whether things could be a little easier and streamlined based on any past experience.
3. Before the Funeral Director begins to review the basic outline of the funeral planning process, it would be helpful if they ask the family if they have any important questions on their mind that they feel like they need to find answers.
This allows the family members to ask about things that might be of concern, time-sensitive, or important to know regardless of the planning process.
4. The Funeral Director could explain the general outline of what the funeral planning process involves and what they will review and work on together. Ideally, this overall outline would be great to have in writing, so they can see it, read it, plan ahead, and follow along step-by-step.
This helps the families to get an idea of what to expect, and also begin thinking about the many funeral planning challenges.
5. The Funeral Director could tell the family members to feel free to interrupt him/her at any time, and ask any questions that come to mind, no matter how basic or uncomfortable they might feel.
This helps families feel like it is OK to ask questions, since from my personal experience, I was very reluctant to ask things that I now wish I had.
6. After the funeral planning process, the Funeral Director could find a way to help families learn about some of the new and popular memorial technology tools, resources, services, and funeral home services. In fact, I would even recommend offering families a printed list of these options so you can talk about them with the families, or simply let them research these things on their own to find out more.
Why not let every family know about all of these options? If families don’t choose to add these to their funeral or memorial planning, they are still better off from knowing these options were available. And if families do find these options to helpful tools that can allow them to better heal, remember, and pay a special tribute to a loved one, everyone wins!
7. Last, I would suggest Funeral Directors consider providing every family with helpful details, such as these below, at the end of their funeral planning discussion:
– Key things to consider when planning a memorial service
– Several phone numbers to contact for any questions or concerns, 24/7
– Grief support information, grief books, and local grief support
– Information on how to give a eulogy, funeral etiquette, how to write an obituary, and other common families needs
– Contact information on Charitable Organizations, and ways to help families donate funds “in lieu of funeral flowers”
– Key reasons and benefits to consider an End of Life Plan, and where they can go to learn more
– Names and contact information for people who you recommend that would be willing to help offer free advice for any financial planning matters, such as funeral estate planning, tax planning, wealth management, etc.
Again, these are just some thoughts I had after looking back on my personal experience, as well as some of the details I have found that most families are searching for – and today this is being done largely on the Internet.
I truly hope this helps both families and Funeral Directors, as I continue my quest to make this difficult process easier!
No matter what we believe, what we have or have not studied, how young or how old we are, the end result of life is death. All of us are going to die. All of us will have the same journey to reach a new level of being. Therefore, it would be a great opportunity for compassion to understand those around the world, no matter what color, what country, or what religion, to realize that we are the same – and we are going to do the same thing as every other. Yes, unfortunately we will all die some day.
How will that affect what I think, how I treat others? What if someone wants a cremation rather than a funeral? Can I accept that concept? (For example, cremation is the norm, not the exception, in Asian countries.) How do I feel about the burial of a body within twenty-four hours, with no cremation or embalming? How do I feel about some religions that do not allow women to come to the funeral of a man?
There are as many different customs and rituals to plan a funeral as there are different religious belief systems. Many times I hear of funeral directors that are doing amazing things to help their families that have a different funeral ritual than what many in America have called “the traditional” memorial service. It would be impossible to learn all the rituals, but that may not be important. Perhaps the bigger question is have you as a funeral director thought of your own comfort level to the rituals common in other cultures or belief systems? Ask yourself if you are opened minded enough to foster different services, and to be at ease during those services.
To help ponder these end of life planning matters here are a few questions and exercises to help you discover your comfort level.
1. When is the last time you had a service in your funeral home that was different than you traditionally hold? For example, did you serve a family that was Hindu but you are traditionally a Christian firm? How did that service make you feel? Comfortable? Out of place? Wishing it was over quickly?
2. When you are presented with something that is out of your comfort zone how do you cope with the situation? Do you have systems in place to help you process the new information?
3. What resources do you have in your community to help you learn about other cultures and their burial practices? Would you be willing to have someone from a different culture come and teach you and those you work with about their rituals and needs?
4. How can you expand your services to include “new” forms of service to families you have not ministered to before?
5. Can you discuss with friends and colleagues what they have done to incorporate the needs of other cultures? Can you be open and dialogue about how comfortable/uncomfortable you can be with opening your business and your psyche to something different?
Funeral Service is a great profession that gives service to people in need. If you can find great compassion for that ritual you do not know about, or agree with, you will not only be assisting your families, but yourself. Because, after all, we are all going to do the same thing –die, right? It is the people left on earth who make it look like we are not doing the same thing…but we are!
In today’s world, we need to find our commonness, that which makes us the same, rather than focus on differences. You are in a rare business to recognize you are the one that can create harmony and understanding across cultures. You, of all people, know what we are like in death, and that we all face it alike, and all those left behind feel the same grief and loss.
No one wants to talk about death or dying. Nor do they want to think about how to plan a funeral for someone they love, especially if they have not passed. Although extremely difficult, planning the funeral arrangements of a loved one who has been diagnosed as terminally ill is one of the best decisions you can make. However, we strongly encourage you to seek professional help!
When you combine the death of someone you care for with wanting to make the right end of life decisions, especially given the fact that you have a limited amount of time to attend to all the details, it usually leaves many families feeling overwhelmed.
Our Funeral Advisors, Family Counselors, and Funeral Directors can help answer some of the more common, and more difficult, questions that people have about many of the funeral planning challenges that may lie ahead. They can also help guide you to become empowered by providing you with the information and resources you need – and deserve – to know.
Facing a terminal illness and loss is hard enough to deal with, but the end of life planning shouldn’t be. At your time of need, our nationwide network of pre-screened Funeral Advisors/Directors/Counselors are here to both educate and assist you in making the best possible decisions.