Death Cafes

Death Cafes and Dinner Parties

 

I know what you are thinking.  “Why would anyone participate in something like this?  I like to enjoy my dinner and this doesn’t sound like fun.”  Talking about death over dinner might not be the usual way you get people over to your house for a meal, but it couldn’t be more crucial.

Too many people are dying in a way they wouldn’t choose, and too many of their loved ones are left feeling bereaved, guilty, and uncertain.  Having “the conversation” about end of life care wishes with family, friends, and even total strangers is an important step you can take to ensure that those wishes are understood and respected.

Death Cafes and Dinner Parties

These types of activities, also known as Tea Parties, Death Cafes, etc., have taken off worldwide.    And why is that?  It is because they work.  They allow people to discuss death and related issues and be open to a variety of opinions and issues in a non-judgmental and safe environment.  A colleague of mine, Laurel Lewis, has been hosting these dinner parties for several years with growing interest and attendance such that there is usually a waiting list.  You can learn more about her and what she does at http://laurelllewis.com.

You can also see a sample of one of her dinners on You Tube at http://youtu.be/N2SOlsDTXK8  (Deepak Chopra @ a death and dying dinner party!).  This dinner is rare as it includes a well known physician but that is certainly not necessary.

The Death Cafe which started in Europe is now in the States and lets you know what is happening so check it out at http://www.deathcafe.com .   Another site provides a tutorial on how to set up such a get together.  You can check it out here at http://www.deathoverdinner.org.  An alternative approach used by Paula Schneider of Nevada is to host “Open Forums on End of Life Issues.”  Whatever terms you need to use to get people there, listening, and engaging is what is important.

Why Not Take the First Step?

These dinners and teas are meant specifically for any person who is going to die.  Does that describe you?  So, you need not wait till Thanksgiving this year to have the conversation with family and friends.  You can start now either hosting your own party or getting on line and seeing what meeting is in your area that you can attend to have the experience.

Yes, as I always remind you, it is time to have ‘the conversation’ because you never know when the crisis will occur.  Your discussions will help you feel more comfortable about documenting your wishes allowing you to give ‘the gift’ to your friends and loved ones.  Unless you are certain of your immortality, now is the time to get started!

*Contributed by M. Jane Markley Consulting, LLC